Training Your Son...

I share this with you because - it is real!

Lately I have been struggling with how to train my son. Do you know what I am talking about? You know, when you think you are being clear about something - but then your son does not seem to be "getting" it - even though he nods in agreement - that he understands what you are asking of him or telling him - but the actions are not following?

Yesterday I was really shocked by something that happened. And to be honest, I had been overlooking other offences and when this happened, I unleashed my fury which was ashamedly quite ungodly! Have you had one of those moments?

As I was "training" (ie lecturing) my son, I could hear accusation after accusation escape from my lips: "how can you be so irresponsible"? "don't you think before you do"? "are you kidding me - have you ever seen your mum or I do anything so stupid"? - That right there is a stupid question in and of itself! Of course he has not seen us do anything so stupid - because he was not around when we were 11 years old!

Finally it hit me - square between the eyes - Patrick, STOP! Stop with the accusations and let's recall all your failures and inconsistencies for a moment. And by the way - who has trained your son in this area? Have you ever told him not to do what you are "lecturing" him about?

There was this horrible sinking feeling! YOU, Patrick are condemning your son instead of showing grace. The grace that you want to be shown - you are not showing!

Oh brothers - the reality of that moment was priceless.

You see - I can expect my son to know what to do - but why should I expect that of him if I have not trained him in it?

For quite some time now, I have sensed the leading of the Holy Spirit to be going through Proverbs with my son. Together! Not just sending him to read Proverbs and hoping he gets it. But together!

I already know that I am going to have to fight and protect this time, but I believe it is going to serve him and myself to be reading through this wonderful book together!

You see Proverbs 1:7 says: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction".

My son does not want to be a fool, and I don't want him to be one either, however I need to train him with what God's Word says. And by doing this - do you know what I find? When you "TRAIN" your children with the Gospel - you can't help but remember what a sinner you yourself are - but also the hope of God's correction. God is faithful to discipline those whom He loves. And His discipline is for our good - not for our harm! And most importantly - God's forgiveness to us when we confess our sins! How can we not be amazed and rejoice? Discipline then becomes some wierd and joyous occassion!

Us men need this sort of correction and care from our Heavenly Father! We then in turn, need to model this sort of forgiveness and care to our families - so they get a true representation of their Heavenly Father!

I wanted to keep this post brief - but I want to let you dads know - that training our children is such a great investment! It is hard work - but what a joy to train our children in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

I just love parenting with an eternal perspective! What about you?