Way's of Abdictaing Responsibility

I love my wife! After I posted here, about Abdicating Responsibility, she graciously suggested I explain what I meant by abdicating. What a wise woman. Then she pointed out that I ought to explain what I meant by my mom not being my friend, but my mother. Again, a wise observation! Men, don't you rejoice when your wife points out things you overlook. For me, when I am not being prideful, which I need to work on, I see why God put me with my wife. She sees things, I don't. I can learn a lot from her, so thank you honey... In print LOL (laugh out loud), I do tell her this often...

So what I meant by abdicating responsibility is: when dad's, in particular (but it goes for moms too) see training that needs to be done, but don't do it. Instead allowing mum, teacher, coach, boss to bring the correction or direction that should come from dad when present, or mom when dad is not present.

Let me give you an example of what this has looked like for us.

I come home from work, kiss everyone & then sit down and begin playing with the children. Meg is in the kitchen preparing dinner. We are happily playing and one of the twin girls is playing with her younger sister and hits her. I don't do anything I just ignore it, because I can't be bothered. I hear from the kitchen, "honey, Bethy has just hit Keziah, do you want to do something about that?" I might answer, "there all right" or "you can".

Now as simple as that sounds, and possibly innocent to some men, that is an abdication of my God given roll to "train up my child in the way he or she should go." I am leaving this opportunity to go to my wife, who has been with the children all day, and because I am tired, or can't be bothered, I abdicate the responsibility. Regardless if my wife has been with the children all day or not, since I am the leader in my home, I should seize every opportunity to share & model the gospel of Jesus Christ with my wife and children.

Now, what I ought to have done, is got my lazy bum off the ground and took Bethy up to the bedroom and addressed her heart. Not the hit to Keziah, that is just an outward expression of an inward condition. So, I take Bethy up stairs and speak to her about what's in her heart that she needs to hit Keziah. Yes Bethy is four, and no, not every time do I reason with her, however I do need to lovingly bring about correction, not in anger, but with much love and patience. I need to show Bethy that the Bible tells us in James 4:1-12 that the reason we have fights and quarrels is because we don't get our own way. Do you feel that you are not getting your own way Bethy? Do you think it is right to hit your sister when you don't get your own way?

Do you remember what the Bible says about how we are to treat each other? Colossians 3:12-25 tells us how to live holy lives. Now Bethy do you know that daddy is a sinner too? Jesus died on the cross for you and me. Not only is Bethy a sinner but so is daddy and mommy. In fact daddy and mommy have to ask Jesus to forgive us of our sin's too. In 1 John 1:9 the Bible tells us that if we confess our sins, He if faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That's pretty cool that Jesus would do that for us, huh Bethy? Now Bethy, we need to go down stairs and apologize to Keziah, but before we do that let's ask Jesus to forgive us.

Some may think that this is way too extreme? I sure hope it's not too extreme. But I do believe I am to teach my children that the Bible is what shapes our thinking. The Bible is what guides us. And if the Lord should take either my wife or I home to be with Him, then the kids know that the Bible is what they use to learn how to live for their Heavenly Father.

I share this not to boast, but to help you and offer you a way in which to train your child. My wife and I have done this with all of our children, at different times and in different ways. Please know, it is God's grace that enables us to do this, however it takes a lot of time and we have a lot to learn. Please don't discipline in anger. Please don't give up training your children! If your not sure what to do, ask your pastor, a older man who has children older than yours, ask questions... For the glory of God let's stay committed to parenting with an eternal perspective...

I am asking Caleb tomorrow, if I can share a story with you about him.

Before I do, I will start off explaining what I meant about my mother NOT being my friend, but my mother - tomorrow...