How To Listen To Your Bride...

The purpose of this Blog is to get us as men to think of why we do what we do. Especially in the areas of our relationship with Christ, our wife and our children.

I desire to encourage you in the way that you love the Lord with all our hearts, with all our souls and with all our minds (Matthew 22:37). The way that you love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:25-33). And finally in the way that you train up your children in the way in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Yesterday my bride provided two articles for you. One about our kids and one about the struggle of doing quiet times. Let me share something with you today, about listening to your bride.

I have a couple of questions that I ask Meg. Now I have to really prepare my heart to ask Meg these questions, because these questions are an open door for her to say whatever she likes. However the benefits are worth it. So let me share these questions with you. I trust they will serve you as you serve your wife.

1) What are you thinking?
2) Where is your heart?
3) Is there anything bothering you?
4) Is there something that I am doing that is upsetting you?
5) Are you observing a pattern of sin in me?
6) Is there a bad habit you notice I am adopting?

Now, my wife is very sensitive in what she shares. Last night was our "date" night. How do you do date night when you have six kids? Well we have a few creative ideas because, I am still studying at a theological institute and money is tight but we try to be creative. Nevertheless Monday nights is a time for us to be honest and download. Possibly we should pick another night for this as it can ruin the intimacy factor... However it is important that we spend time together and I listen to Meg and not be defensive.

I am so grateful for my wife's eyes. She is able to see my heart and my desires better then anyone else. I want her to tell me her concerns and to help me see sin encroaching in. But it takes alot of humility to hear what is being said.

Let me tell you, I don't always do it right, but by God's grace He enables us to hear and respond.

Here are some helpful ways to respond to hearing our wife's observations.

1) Thank you for telling me this...
2) I am very sorry for hurting you...
3) Will you continue to point these things out?
4) Is there anything else you are observing?
5) Will you pray for me?

Here are some unhelpful ways to respond to hearing our wife's observations. (Coming from experience brothers)

1) Silence!!!
2) Well... YOU...
3) All you do is nit pic at me...
4) Walking away!
5) Defending yourself and attacking her...

Again, by God's grace I am learning and growing in these areas.

I hope you can love and serve your wife with an eternal perspective - for HIM who gave Himself for us!