Setting an Example

As a father, I sometimes read instructions from God's Word and want to pass them on to my children. Much like Paul did with Timothy. Paul instructs Timothy - 'Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity' (1 Tim. 4:12).

My oldest is going to be 13 later this year & I want to be creative in helping him apply this passage to his life now & remind him of it until I'm taken to glory. No he's not going to be a pastor, that I know of, but I want to equip with him some wonderful Scriptures that he can be applying to his life now. I want to encourage him on how he can live in such a way as to be an example to others. However, I don't think it is just about instructing him but actually setting and example for him. This instruction from Paul to Timothy is a pretty big ask when you think about it. And yet, Paul is not asking Timothy to do something that he is not carrying out himself - aye?

In my great desire to serve my son & instruct him with what Scripture says, I think I need to begin to evaluate how am I going in my own life.

So - How am I setting an example to my wife and children in:

speech: What am I talking about? What is my tone? How's my vocabulary? Am I being vulgar & unhelpful? Is my speech full of grace & gratitude or complaining and negative?

life (conduct): Am I lazy? Am I disciplined in personal area's of study, health, finances, work? Is there evidence of righteous living?

love: Does my son see me loving my wife the way Christ loved the Church? Am I loving my son by talking about the difficult things - not just the easy things? Am I loving my Savior more & more each day? Am I sacrificially loving others.

faith: Am I modeling how to be a faithful husband and father to my family? Am I showing them how to be a faithful member to the body of Christ? Faith is not unbelief, but faithfulness & commitment.

purity: Am I being sexually pure? Am I bringing things into my home that are going to cause my kids to stumble or be unhelpful to my bride? More importantly to my Savior?

You know, there are area's that I am not doing so well in. Area's that I desire to repent of and change. And you know, having this little reflection brings me such hope. Why? Because my salvation is secure! Yea, God loves me just the same as He did yesterday. I can win no more of His favor by addressing these issues. I can however know He is gently changing me to be more like His Son! I am so grateful for His loving conviction. Oh what a Savior!

Hey dads, fathers, husbands, grandpas, uncles - men of God - let's set an example for our children!

Training Your Son...

I share this with you because - it is real!

Lately I have been struggling with how to train my son. Do you know what I am talking about? You know, when you think you are being clear about something - but then your son does not seem to be "getting" it - even though he nods in agreement - that he understands what you are asking of him or telling him - but the actions are not following?

Yesterday I was really shocked by something that happened. And to be honest, I had been overlooking other offences and when this happened, I unleashed my fury which was ashamedly quite ungodly! Have you had one of those moments?

As I was "training" (ie lecturing) my son, I could hear accusation after accusation escape from my lips: "how can you be so irresponsible"? "don't you think before you do"? "are you kidding me - have you ever seen your mum or I do anything so stupid"? - That right there is a stupid question in and of itself! Of course he has not seen us do anything so stupid - because he was not around when we were 11 years old!

Finally it hit me - square between the eyes - Patrick, STOP! Stop with the accusations and let's recall all your failures and inconsistencies for a moment. And by the way - who has trained your son in this area? Have you ever told him not to do what you are "lecturing" him about?

There was this horrible sinking feeling! YOU, Patrick are condemning your son instead of showing grace. The grace that you want to be shown - you are not showing!

Oh brothers - the reality of that moment was priceless.

You see - I can expect my son to know what to do - but why should I expect that of him if I have not trained him in it?

For quite some time now, I have sensed the leading of the Holy Spirit to be going through Proverbs with my son. Together! Not just sending him to read Proverbs and hoping he gets it. But together!

I already know that I am going to have to fight and protect this time, but I believe it is going to serve him and myself to be reading through this wonderful book together!

You see Proverbs 1:7 says: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction".

My son does not want to be a fool, and I don't want him to be one either, however I need to train him with what God's Word says. And by doing this - do you know what I find? When you "TRAIN" your children with the Gospel - you can't help but remember what a sinner you yourself are - but also the hope of God's correction. God is faithful to discipline those whom He loves. And His discipline is for our good - not for our harm! And most importantly - God's forgiveness to us when we confess our sins! How can we not be amazed and rejoice? Discipline then becomes some wierd and joyous occassion!

Us men need this sort of correction and care from our Heavenly Father! We then in turn, need to model this sort of forgiveness and care to our families - so they get a true representation of their Heavenly Father!

I wanted to keep this post brief - but I want to let you dads know - that training our children is such a great investment! It is hard work - but what a joy to train our children in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

I just love parenting with an eternal perspective! What about you?