Habakkuk 3: 17-18

As fathers, husbands, sons, sons-n-law, brothers, men in general, we are faced with trying and sometimes challenging circumstances. And whether we like it or not, our wife and children pick up on that.

When they pick up on it, how do they observe we are handling the trial we are being entrusted with?

At the moment, I am being strengthened through trials. The question is - what are my wife and children and friends observing in their husband, father, friend? A mate of mind said to me the other day, "don't loose your joy in these circumstances mate". My son said to me last night, "dad, you seem angry!"

So clearly, joy is not being evidenced! I'm not angry, but I am allowing myself to let my mind wander and question if God is going to come through. Will He? Won't He? Has He ever let me down? No! But sometimes I do allow myself to play that game too long and it breeds unhelpful thoughts which then affects my joy.

I was reading some helpful thoughts from one of my hero's Charles Spurgeon. He was offering some cross centered reflections on these verses from Hanakkuk.

A song of joy, in a state of affliction:

Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my
salvation.
GOD, the Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's
he makes me tread on my high places."

Oh Lord, thank you for salvation! You are my strength! In You I trust!

Contending for Supremacy with God...

There is a book that I have been wanting to revisit once I finished my theological training.

The book is called;

'Humility, True Greatness' by: CJ Mahaney.

WHY???

Great question!

The reason I want to study & reacquaint myself with HUMILITY is because, I see a struggle with PRIDE being evidenced in my life. Let me share with you how; as I am finishing up theological training and ministry in a local church, there is a desire I have to want to be affirmed and valued. I am very tempted to want to comfort myself with all of my achievements. I am tempted to tell myself how much I have done and how hard I have worked & how much I deserve.

Friends, trust me, this is not the proper talk I need to be giving myself. Instead, I ought to be reminding myself of all that God has done for me. I ought to be reminding myself that my purpose is not to glorify myself but glorify Him who gave me life.

As I have been re-reading this book - I am once again, convicted by the Holy Spirit, of the evidence of pride in my life.

Oh, the temptation to reason, excuse, justify & deny the evidences of pride in my life, are numerous. However I do not want to be guilty of contending for supremacy with God. I do not want the opposition of God. I mean, really - who is going to lose that battle? Not that that is the reason I don't contend for supremacy with God, however it is because of the gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ.

So what is contending for supremacy with God? Contending for supremacy with God is when I am taking away the glory from God and putting it on myself, or allowing it to be placed upon me instead of Him!

My purpose is to glorify God. That can be done in whatever circumstance I find myself. In theological training or not in theological training. In "paid" ministry or in "lay" (unpaid) ministry. What ever I am doing I am to glorify God.

Revisiting this book has ministered to me greatly. If you are a father, husband, son, male... READ this book... It will highlight your thoughts about the topic - it deals with our objections & understandings on the topic.

By reading this book, I dare say, it will help you better serve your Lord, your wife, your children and your family...

It's a great tool to assist you in parenting with an eternal perspective...

Leading in Temptation and Not Tempting My Family

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it".

1 Corinthians 10:13

Do you ask yourself, 'what's the good of temptation'?

Oswald Chambers explains that the word 'temptation' has come down in the world; we are apt to use it wrongly. He says, "temptation is not sin, it is the thing we are bound to meet if we are men".

So many times as a husband, father, brother, son, son-in-law etc... I am tempted. I am tempted to be self absorbed. I am tempted to put my needs before others. I am tempted to want my way and not consider how my choice will effect others. It is a real battle. God's Word is such an encouragement to me knowing He will not allow me to be tempted beyond what I can bear. What a wonderful truth to live out, not just mention!

Let me share with you another area that I have recently been considering. It's not only how I am being tempted, but how I can tempt others to sin.

Have you ever considered how you are able to tempt others to sin?

Here are some ways I have discovered that I can tempt my family to sin. I can tempt my family to sin by my actions or lack of actions. I can do this by my tone of voice. Am I yelling, being harsh, patronizing in the way I speak to them or question them? If I am, I need to change this behaviour. It is not serving

In my role, I am tempted in many ways. However God has entrusted me to lead my family. I must consider how I am tempting my family.

I am so grateful that during these times I can run to the Gospel and remind myself of His great saving power! It is in these times I am provided with an opportunity to rehearse the Gospel. For it is the power of salvation to all who believe.

I trust you will consider how you are serving your family when you are being tempted. Are you being tempted to sin? Are you tempting others to sin? Remind yourself of the Gospel of Jesus Christ...

What Now?

I have been alarmed and concerned by the outcome of the 2008 presidential election but... I am so aware that God is in charge.

Here is a wonderful article by Randy Alcorn - which describes my sentiments so well...

Here is another encouraging article by CJ Mahaney - this article reminisces about what happened after the 2004 elections. These thoughts brought out of the archives - are just as helpful for the 2008 elections.

May I encourage you to recall the words in Romans 13:1-7.

Submission to the Authorities
13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Fathers, this is a wonderful opportunity to be reminding our wife and children what God requires of responsible Christian citizens...

Where have I been?

This is the way you recover after a tooth extraction (below) ... Yes the buldging cheek is not from falling off our go cart - it's from having a tooth extracted. And the croc's are not mine... OK -they are - but don't hold it against me... They are comfortable! But won't be shown again on this blog! I PROMISE!!!

This is my baby girl, Keziah (below) ... Does that not make a heart melt? I am a blessed husband and father!!! - yea - you can call this bragging! She is beautiful... but our prayer is that she will know her need for a Savior.



This is my big boy celebrating his 11th b-day. Yea, he is hoping to master the art of surfing. We have this tradition that dad decorates the dinning room on the night before the kids b-day's. It is a joy to serve the family in this way - but boy is it alot of work... coming up with something new each year. But very rewarding the next morning when the kids wake me at 4:30 AM to see if they can go and see what awaits them down stairs...


We have just returned from our family church camp where we ran the kids program. We had a wonderful time serving our church familiy. It is great serving the Lord!

Back to regular blogging shortly...

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy birthday Son!

What a fine young man you are turning into...

We love you!

Some GREAT QUESTIONS...

My wife and I were just speaking about this last night... How would you answer this question?

"If your heart takes more pleasure in reading novels, or watching TV, or going to the movies, or talking to friends, rather than just sitting alone with God and embracing Him, sharing His cares and His burdens, weeping and rejoicing with Him, then how are you going to handle forever and ever in His presence...?" - Keith Green

Now click here and view this interview with CJ Mahaney & John Piper... The question CJ is asking John Piper is regarding 'Radical Risk without Relocation' and what that looks like... WOW & AMEN!!!

An Interview on Cultivating Joy

If you have some time when you are at your desk & your not listening to something- click on the 'do it' in blue - and be encouraged as you listen to some men discussing the importance of pastors and leaders - cultivating joy. Here is the link - DO IT!!!

I hope you will be someone who intentionally cultivates joy...

For HIS Glory!!!

Blogging with an eternal perspective....

Q. Is blog viewing, being done with an eternal perspective?

A. I hope so!

Husbands/Fathers - have you noticed what your wife is reading on blogs or posting on other peoples blogs? I'm not sure about you - but I am shocked!!!

As a husband, I have noticed that my wife can spend a lot of time on other peoples blogs investigating their arguments or positions on a certain topic. Damaging? No! Concerning? Not always. Yet I do have a desire to lead and encourage my wife as she reads other peoples blogs and to ask questions as she does so: "Is this helping her or is it causing her discouragement?" "Is it causing her to be judgmental & critical?" "Are these blogs provoking her to view life through Cross-centered lenses?" "Or is she being tempted to engage in philosophical ideas or 'worldly' views because a 'respectable' 'christian' lady has presented a good case based on worldly wisdom?"

Look carefully at those whose blogs your wife is frequenting. A good place to start, after reading what the blogger themselves writes, is to look at what other websites they link to and what other blogs they recommend. This can often give you a good insight into what thoughts and ideas they also subscribe to, and what is important to them. We all know, it's very easy to sit behind a key board and type our views in - but what is the writers character like? What is their life like? Are they just throwing words around carelessly? Do they think of the consequences to the reader who may be reading their random thoughts? How are they serving their sisters in Christ?

As I have read comments from others on some of these blogs, who have read the posts from those who blog various thoughts and arguments, it has also seemed to highlight both the misguided views of many who subscribe to a worldly wisdom instead of starting with a Biblical framework. Obviously we have many and varied points of view on many topics, however we should never be swayed (or encourage our wives to be) by worldly wisdom that is based on culture and philosophy, rather than God's Word.

A few final thoughts - if your wife appears to be spending more time engrossed at the computer reading blogs, sending and receiving emails, using Facebook or surfing the Internet than she is spending time in the Word, then maybe it is time to ask some tough questions. Where is her heart gaining food from - the Internet or from the Lord?

Now don't get me wrong, there are many helpful blogs and websites with a whole range of things from encouraging blogs, Godly or thought provoking articles, all manner of 'how-to' pages and information galore, not to mention the convenience of communication via things like Facebook and email, all of which my wife and I use. However, if these things draw you away from time with the Lord, time with your family, productive work or study time, time in the community (with real life people!) or much needed sleep, then it is time to reassess your priorities... something we did around our dinner table last night, with both my wife and I having to admit that we have been wasting way too much time on the computer of late and that we needed to change our computer habits.

One last thing to consider is how our time may be better spent - perhaps we ought to move away from the computer and get involved in community. Serving each other who are struggling with not having children, having 8 children? Perhaps even visiting the elderly or hospitalised? Perhaps we could encourage our wife to be looking for evidences of grace in others and encourage them in the race that they have set before them? Not everyone is running the same race... and we can be offering cold cups of water in Jesus' name!

Husbands - I think it is important that we lead our wife (& children) in the way she (they) reads blogs or website articles, as well as how she spends her time. I would encourage you to site down with your wife and ask her what she is reading and how she processes that information. Not to be her 'overseer' or 'big brother', but out of love and care for her heart and what she is being fed. I recommend we ought to be reading & writing with an eternal perspective...

Blind Spots!

"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday". - Alexander Pope

I have shared on this blog, how once a week, I meet with my two sons, Caleb (10) & Noah (6). It has been awhile since I have reported on our catch up's. Tonights was a good one, so let me share with you what we discussed...

Tonight we discussed how easy it is to blame someone else for a mistake/problem, instead of asking if we are the problem or the cause of the problem. Which is what some might call a "blind spot"

Imagine this scenario: Dave walks up to the waitress at the club house and asks about the lunch special. He's wearing his new golf shoes. The waitress always wears sandals. Dave accidentally gets too close. He doesn't mean to, but he stands on her foot. While Dave chats, her face begins turning red. Then, without warning, the waitress hauls off and slaps him hard enough to send him silly. She turns and limps back on one foot to the kitchen. Dave shakes his head and says to himself, "What's her problem"? Dave has a blind spot.

You and I have blind spots like Dave. What are mine? I don't know. If I knew, it wouldn't be my blind spot. Knowing we have blind spots should cause us to be a little less self - confident. Maybe we're not all right and maybe everybody else isn't all wrong. It ought to make us stop and consider our ways.

Maybe somebody has tried to tell us about our blind spots already, but we didn't believe them. Maybe we just figured they had a problem and were blaming us for it.

The next time you have a disagreement with somebody, or perhaps have some other trouble on your hands, pause and ask yourself, "Am I part of this problem?"

If you have the courage, though not many men do, try going a step further. Ask the person opposite you, "Do you think I have a blind spot that is causing trouble between us?" You might be surprised to hear what they say.

It is the godly man who looks for his own foot before he criticizes somebody else...

Tonight Caleb & Noah & I were able to ask each other about our blind spots. You know what was cool? I had an opportunity to hear my son's observations of their dad. WOW! How humbling! I have some blind spots! I need to work on them!

I was encouraged as my older son listened to his younger brother and how Noah listened to Caleb. Then watching them reconcile and pray together...

We have family members who can loving show us our blind spots. Thank you Lord!!!

Prayer

As a husband and a father do you model prayer? Are you found praying by your wife or children? I am grateful for my wife who will initiate praying with me and our children. I am thankful too for her expression and confession that she likes it when I lead her and the children in prayer.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I find that prayer is something that get's talked about more than it actually get's done. We (I) get too busy or distracted to fulfill the commitment we (I) made to pray for that brother or sister who requested prayer!

Recently, I have come across some verses in Scripture that have encouraged me to prayer. I trust you too will be encouraged to be a man who prays & leads & models for his family, how and why we pray.

Isaiah 65:24
"Before they call I will answer, while they are speaking I will hear," says the Lord.

Matthew 7:7-8
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks received; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

1 John 3:21-22
Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

1 Thessoalonians 5:17
Pray continually!

Psalms 145:18
The Lord is near to all who call on him to all who call on him in truth.

Psalms 55:16-17
I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice.

Matthew 6:6
When you pray, go to your room , close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Jeremiah 29:12-14
"You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

Men, lets be husbands and fathers who our praying to our Father in Heaven!

Anger

As a dad - do you find you are angry often?

Here are some verses to reflect on that may serve you well... - Just have a read of them & then maybe try to commit them to memory... hopefully these words will pass through our noggins before we are tempted to blow a gasket! Ask God to help you ... I need His help daily!

'Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one
who takes a city'.
Proverbs 16:32

'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires'.
James 1:19-20

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26

'Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out'.
Proverbs 17:14

'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger'.
Proverbs 15:1

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
Proverbs 12:19

'Daily Help' from Spurgeon

As a father it is easy to compare what you don't have with those who "appear" to have it all... It is easy to think your not a good provider, and if you could give your wife and kids more things, they will be happier... It is easy to listen to what the world says, instead of what God wants for us...

There is a man who I read sometimes, and this is his 'Daily Help' for today:

"Look at your possessions, believer, and compare your portion with the lot of your fellowmen. Some of them have their portion in the field. They are rich and their harvests yield them a golden increase, but what are harvests compared with your God who is the God of harvests? What are bursting granaries compared with Him, who is the Farmer and who feeds you with the bread of heaven? Some have their portion in the city. Their wealth is abundant and flows to them in constant streams until they become a very reservoir of gold, but what is gold compared with your God? "Thou art my portion, O Lord" (Psalms 119:57)"
'Daily Help' Charles Spurgeon

D - A - D

Yesterday was father's day in Australia. I was asked to present a 5 minute talk about fathers and father's day. I took the opportunity to challenge the men to give a gift to their children this father's day.

The gift I recommended, was that they love their children s mum.

How do they do that?

D = Draw
A = Affirm
D = Do

D = Draw out your wife... How? - Ask alot of questions: How was your day? What is the Lord teaching you? Are you OK? Is there anything you want to talk to me about? Am I upsetting you or the children? Have you watched anything today or listened to anything today that has distrubed you or challenged you?

A = Affirm your wife... - Unashamedly, often, loudly, proudly, openly & in front of the children! Have you succumb to the condition of taking your wife for granted? Dishes done, clean clothes, meals cooked, kids scheduled, bed made, house clean & the like? So often our wife has done many things that go unnoticed and unappreciated. If we don't affirm our wife for the things they have done, will our children?

Another thing we need to affirm is when our wife makes choices to serve Christ instead of serving themselves. This needs to be done loudest.

D = Do things for your wife... - When I was preparing this little talk, I was talking to my wife about the "do" word and asking Meg, what sort of things should I suggest? She said, "look honey, men have "needs" right"? She continued, "wife's get tired but might have more strength to meet needs if husbands helped out a bit more"... My first question was, "what can I do for you"!

The best gift fathers can give their children - is to love their children s mum...

Family UPDATE

So much has been happening - Let me give you a brief update!

Caleb's team were minor premiers of their league and have each received 1 medallion, 1 trophy & a track suit. Plus a team trophy & a shield to remind them of their achievements. WELL DONE - Son - We are so proud of you! What a season...

My great Uncle Carol passed away. He was a man who stood up to the plate, and took good care of my mum and her brothers and sisters, when things were difficult for them as kids. He is going to be missed.

We got a phone call the other morning... Yea, one that you don't hope for... But a man who has been a great friend, support, encourager, mate & father-n-law was in casualty... He is OK, but in a bit of pain.

My beautiful bride, prepared and presented a review of our homeschooling program to the Education Board of NSW, for Caleb & Abigail for the past two years. What a feat! Then she had to present a future program for Noah, Abigail & Caleb.

The Education Board representative had many encouraging things to say! I am grateful for your investment into our children honey! How exciting - now we wait another two years for the next review!

These little events have happened on top of our normal week of homeschooling, work & college...

So we will resume our normal posting soon...

Quote by Francis Schaeffer

In an address to students at the University of Notre Dame, the great apologist Frances Schaeffer made this profound statement:

"Christianity is not a series of truths in the plural, but rather truth spelled with a capital "T". Truth about total reality, not just about religious things. Biblical Christianity is Truth concerning total reality - and the intellectual holding of that total Truth and then living in the light of that Truth."

Photo found here

What Does Servant Leadership Look Like When...

... you feel you are being constantly attacked & criticized in your marriage?

It can be painful and frustrating to feel criticized all of the time. Especially if you feel your efforts are never good enough. You may be tempted to withdraw or give up. But don't!

Jesus was regularly criticized and rejected, and we know his efforts were nothing less than perfect! In the book of Isaiah, we are reminded by the author, Isaiah that, "He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth" (Isaiah 53:9). Now we are operating in our role, as husbands, in a fallen world. Even if we were perfect, or providing perfect leadership, it will not always get us a pat on the back, or the 'atta-boy' we may seek. However, Jesus is our model in marriage as well as a companion in seasons of discouragement. To be criticized for doing your best is the path of servant-leadership in this age.

Jesus' leadership is effective! Followers of Christ are evidence that persevering through criticism and rejection is powerful and effective.

Peter, a disciple of Jesus wrote about His rejection like this: "For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls" (1 Peter 2:25). I think Peter is saying that, followers of Christ are saved, because Jesus refused to give up in the face of rejection. Instead, He trusted God to be at work through the rejection.

Now you and I show Jesus to our wife when we persevere in loving her, even as we "feel" rejected and criticized.

But let me ask you, how do you respond to her criticism?

Can I tell you something? How you respond to her criticism may be your most powerful way of loving your wife and a testimony to Christ's work in your life.

Jesus could be using your wife to be speaking to you about sin in your life. Can there be something truthful about your wife's criticism? Sure, we're not talking about her delivery of the criticism, but has she nailed you for something that you need to man-up on? Your wife can see things you can't see. Being criticized ain't easy!

So let's ask God to help us put on humility and be willing to learn from her, even if her delivery is harsh.

After you examine yourself, make sure you really understand what's going on with your wife. Try not to respond defensively; figure out what is driving her criticism. Sometimes it sounds like irritation or anger, but could it be fear? Is she actually trying to say, "I'm afraid you love your job or career more then me and the kids" or "I'm afraid you want to spend time with your mates more then me"?

Look, spend time trying to resolve this! Don't quit or give up or with-draw! Please don't! Perhaps unresolved hurts from the past need to be addressed. Maybe there is some financial strain. But know this, her criticism, particularly its ungodly expression, tells you as much about her as it does about you.

A servant-leader is going to spend some intentional time, understanding and then ministering to his wife more than he will be worried about defending himself.

Ask God for help as you exercise the servant-leadership role you have been entrusted with!

Who's The Boss?

Can I ask you - how do you, as a husband, express love through your role as a husband to your wife? Let me say, this will look different in each of our marriages, because our families have different needs. But allow me to suggest, that there are specific things you and your spouse can do. However there are also some things we should try to avoid, as we live out our different roles.

Today, I will write about our roles as the Husband and how we can use our roles to model Christ. I'm going to provide 4 ways, I think, we can use our God given roles to better serve our wife... Ephesians 5:22-33 is the passage of Scripture I am using to base these thoughts on.

1) Serving our wife with sacrificial love.
In Ephesians 5, the word "love" is used 7 times in 9 verses to explain the role of the husband. Therefore I think it would be fair to say that we should know and imitate Jesus' example of loving the church. Jesus loved the Church sacrificially, therefore so should we. But not only the Church, our wife! If Jesus laid down His life for the Church - should we not lay down our life for our wife?

2) Building your wife up and helping her grow as a Christian will be your goal.
Notice in these verses there is not a description of duties here, rather words that point us to our basic responsibility: promoting the welfare of others in love. As long as our goal is love, there appears to be freedom and latitude to work out the details with our wife in many and different ways. But our motive is building our wife up - NOT tearing her down, embarrassing, berating or humiliating her...

3) Misuse of our authority may hinder our wife's growth.
Being a control freak is not going to serve our wife. By doing this, it does not allow our wife to grow in wisdom. Part of our role as husbands is, developing our wife to exercise her own faith by making choices, and even bad ones. Protecting our wife, which we have been called to do, does not mean we are to try and control everything she does. We need to graciously and wisely provide opportunities for our wife to face situations that require her to trust God, grow in wisdom, and learn responsibility.

4) Intentionally working at getting to know your wife.
If you don't know what your wife's life is like, how can you help her make wise choices? Know her daily routine. Observe her in actions throughout the day. Watch the temptation she faces to become irritated and agitated. Seek ways to spend time with her, drawing her out and getting to know what she thinks on things. LISTEN!!! If your not listening to your wife and understanding her, she won't accept or be confident in your advice. Right honey?

Men, we are only stewards of this authority! You and I are called to use it for His goals and purposes.

Go well!!!

Resolving Parenting Disagreements

Do you have disagreements with your wife about the children? Do you agree or disagree about what the rules should be or what they should not be? How then do you resolve those disagreements? Do you talk about it? Do you just hope that it will go away?

Can I suggest that it is very important that each parent hear the other one out? Sometimes, I just need to shut my mouth and listen. My wife has some good things to say, I just need to shut up, and listen. Sometimes, I think, NO, you need to listen to me... which is not helpful - surprise - surprise!

One Christian Psychologist suggests that; "To achieve a win-win situation, each parent needs to freely express his or her views in a positive way and then be sympathetic and respectful of the spouse's views." I agree with this, however I would only add to this statement. I would add that to achieve a win-win situation, the husband needs to seek to serve his wife, the way Christ serves the Church. One way of serving my wife might be to just listen to her. Then when she is finished, I present my idea's and then together we reach a conclusion that is going to glorify Christ the most. Personally, this sounds amazing, and my wife will be delighted to know I am thinking like this... Now I just need to put this into practice!

So men, let's not avoid the discussion that may need to be had. Initiate the conversation about known disciplinary problems with your children. So for example, is it a problem that the kids are taking food into their room, not picking up toys, constantly resisting going to bed or talking back? If so, resolve together what you are committed to addressing and then set up some consequences for each misbehavior. Be consistent and loving... Remember we are after their hearts, being changed...

I trust you will be able to resolve parenting disagreements, for the glory of God!!!

Meg's Birthday Weekend

I have never been one to do things in small ways... When it's a birthday - you got to celebrate... Just ask my bride... Even if your b-day is on a Saturday, you just gotta get up at 4:30 AM or 5:00 AM...

Thanks for being such a good sport honey!

So in true fashion, we have celebrated my wife's life this weekend. Rejoicing that God saw put us all together.


SO .....

Happy Birthday B.A.S.!!!

I am so glad God has entrusted you with another year....

I love you!!! & so do your children!!!

Winning Your Wife's Heart

Got some questions for you husbands...

How are you intentionally winning your wife's heart?

You might be thinking, what are you talking about, winning my wife's heart? She is my wife, there is a ring on her finger, we are married, what more could I do? Of course I have her heart!

Well, I'm talking of intentional care for your wife, which leads to winning her heart. Not giving her an allowance, taking her for dinner, making sure she has clothes & flowers once in a while. Occasionally calling her, telling her you love her. Though, all of those things are great, and those things should continue. I guess what I am hinting at is, could you be doing more to win her heart & becoming closer at heart?

Here are some suggested questions that may help you win her heart further...

1. What are your bride's burdens?

• What are her cares?
• What things happened to her today that are weighing her down?
• What happened that is troubling her?
• What things is she thinking about tomorrow, next week or say 5 years from now that prey on her?
• What's the worst thing that happened to her today?

By asking your bride these questions, you will discover some amazing and important information. These questions help you have a deeper understanding and love for one another.

2. What are your bride's joys?

• What's the best thing that happened to her today?
• Was there a moment that brought her pleasure?
• What is she grateful for?
• What was your brides highlight for today?
• As she looks back over her life, or the past week, what has brought her joy?
• What is she looking forward to in the future?

These questions point our wife to the good things that have been happening. It is easy to be bogged down by the frustrations of the day to day running of the house or work. By asking your wife what good things are happening, it may just help her refocus, but also provide you an opportunity to show appreciation and encouragement. It is also good to pray and thank God for the good things.

3. What's your bride's purpose?

• What's on her mind?
• What are her goals?
• What's she got planned for the day?
• What's she got planned for tomorrow?
• What does she want to plan to accomplish this week, month or year?

These questions are different than the first two. The first two are about experience, whereas this is an action question. They are helping you draw out her heart as to where she finds meaning.

I hope that when you ask these questions, together you and your wife will learn each other's joys, burdens and direction.

I wouldn't be surprised, that by asking these questions, you will win more of her heart. When two people sorrow together, rejoice together, and join together in life task, the result is intimacy and closeness.

Is that not something we men want?

For the glory of God...

Meg's Miscellaneous Monday Mentions

We interrupt embarrassing stories about our children (shared with permission!) to bring you this weeks' round of links to other blogs.

This YouTube clip is cute, funny, but way too close to home when it comes to some of the songs we sing in church or hear floating around the Christian music industry. I thought it was a very good reminder to us all that worship is about God - who He is, what He has done and giving all the praise, honour and glory to Him. It is not about us - our trials and tribulations, our feelings, our lives and what we do for God. If the songs you are singing, both at church, in your car or on your mp3 player are more about 'me' than about Him, then maybe it's time to turn the dial to a new channel. One that points all the glory and praise to Him.

I know that The Muppets are a hard act to follow, but here is a very challenging post

titled, 'Eat Bitter' from Carolyn McCulley over at 'Radical Womanhood'. The full article is here at Boundless Webzine. The phrase, 'eating bitter', comes from the Chinese who are taught that enduring hardship is as valuable as overcoming it. Carolyn puts forward the idea that we so often just seek to change our surroundings as soon as they cause us any discomfort or irritation, rather than face them head on and learn from them whatever lessons it may that God wants us to learn. Obviously this in itself can be a hard thing to read, but I found it very challenging to myself and my own attitudes. Hopefully you will, too!

Last, but not least, is a fantastic quote from Charles Spurgeon, posted over at Pyromaniacs. Although Spurgeon was preaching this message nearly 150 years ago, the powerful words that he has to say about the never changing truths of the Gospel are still completely relevant for today. We are facing the shifting sands of modern times, which is nothing new under the sun. It is obvious from Spurgeons' words that the church faced the same thing in his day. I pray that his words would be a good reminder to you today that God's word is the truth and it is the same yesterday, today and forever. It requires no new thing to add to it, to make it more attractive or entertaining to the masses. It does not need to be intellectualized for the educated, nor does it need to be dumbed down to be easier to swallow.

"Christ's gospel is no new gospel; and moreover, we are old-fashioned
enough to believe that not one doctrine is to be altered, nor half a doctrine,
nor the thousandth part of a doctrine, no nor yet the form of a doctrine. We
would "hold fast the form of sound words"—not only the principle mark, but the
words; and not only the words, but the very form in which the words were
moulded."

My Son Stole a Toy From the Store...

I read an article the other day. It was entitled, 'My Son stole a toy from the store. What should I do?'

I couldn't help compare the authors advise on what you should do, to how my parent's handled the situation.

The authors approach is understandable, however I think where he has gone wrong is, he has started in the wrong place. He starts with the parent's instead of starting with God. He begins by describing the motivation for acting on the theft is out of a parent's embarrassment, instead of the fact that the 7th Commandment is, "do not steal".

There is a temptation to want to justify our sinful actions. I do it. I listen, as others do that as well. We have a hard time owning up to our sins. And sure, I can appreciate the author's approach, to help parent's not feel like they are alone. Many children steal. But we train our children not to steal because, God instructs us not to steal. We don't train our children not to steal so others will think they are a good person. Or because we as parent's don't want to be embarrassed or shamed by our children's theft.

The author suggests that depending on your child's temperament, you don't get them to confess to the owner. I disagree completely. I think that pride is what stops us from humbling ourselves, even if we are shy, we need to admit our mistakes and confess our sin.

Let me tell you what my parent's did.

After I coaxed my younger sister into putting a pack of bubble gum in her hand bag one afternoon, we then tried to enjoy the rest of the afternoon sneaking bits of gum into our mouth.

We made it through the day, and it was time for bed. However it was in the quietness of the dark, my younger sister was feeling way more convicted then I was. She began crying. My mom asked what was the matter. I kept telling my sister to "shhhhh", because I did not want to get busted. Too late for that. Mom called my sister into the lounge, and shortly after - I followed.

Mom and dad disciplined us and then told us that we needed to make this right. So they loaded me and my younger sister in the car and we headed down to the shop. I remember it was late. It was night time, and I thought, I don't want to go to jail at night. I will never forget the fear, as dad talked privately to the owner of the store. I was very afraid and to be honest, I did not want to confess my thievery. I'm glad that mom and dad had us do that though. Extreme? Sounds like it, but the pay off for their faithfulness in teaching us was much greater. Yes, my sister & I were very young. We thought for sure we were going to get thrown in the clanger. We kissed our mom good bye, just in case we did get taken off to Juvenile Hall. But we were taught that what we did was wrong.

Dad came back to get me and my sister. We were waiting to go into the managers office. In we went, without dad to confess our actions.

The manager did a great job of letting us know that what we had done was very wrong. He praised my sister for telling my parents what we had done. He had a stern word to me about teaching my sister to steal. He promised that if we ever stole again, he would call the police on us.

When we went home, I think mom had hot chocolate and cookies for us. Not as a treat, but as a way of letting us know she cared for us. It helped us to talk about what we had done some more and remember that we don't steal. We don't steal, because God teaches us that.

You know, it is hard work to train children... but you know it's much harder when you try to teach morality and not the Gospel of Jesus Christ to our children.

From a young age - teach your children with an eternal perspective...

For His Glory

Not Abdicating with Caleb

If you are joining us for the first time, we have been discussing, abdicating our responsibilities as parents. I have posted here and here about what that looks like and what it means.

Before I tell you about Caleb, I have promised that I would explain a comment I made about my mother making a brilliant statement to me. My mother told me, when I asked her why she wasn't my friend, like all my other friends moms, she told me, "God called me to be your mom, not your friend". Now I didn't like the statement at the time, but I saw the wisdom in the comment then, but even more so now.

I wanted mom to be my "friend", so she would go light on me. I had observed that the moms that were "buddies", let things slide a bit more and were a bit "cooler" than my mom was. But the truth was that these "Buddies", ignored things, let things slip or abdicated their God given roles. My mother wouldn't do that. And she didn't. As I have matured I can see that, my mom's thought process is correct. It is so much harder to deal with sin. It is so much easier to let things slip by, ignore, turn the other direction, because if I pretend I didn't see it, I don't have to deal with it.

I think because I saw this in my mom, I have been able to utilize this in my own family. So, thanks mom!

As promised, this afternoon, I sought Caleb's permission to tell you a story about him. He suggested I share this account with you.

Caleb was 7 years old at the time and we were discovering a lot of carelessness with the way he was taking care of toys. What was concerning us was, not so much the broken toys, but that we would discover the broken toys, without someone telling us that they broke a toy. To us, this seemed like a hint of deception.

Now Meg & I had told Caleb and the other children that if another toy was broken and they did not come and tell us that they had broken it, but we found it, there would be consequences.

A few days went by and we were noticing Caleb was acting very strange. Normally, Caleb is a very pleasant boy. But for some reason, he was very teary, tired & frustrated. When I would quiz him on his behavior, he would assure me that nothing was wrong. I must confess, I did not believe him, and I would push more, but he stuck to his story.

A few days later, Caleb was looking dreadful. He had black rings under his eyes, and he was being very cheeky. I sent him to his room to have a lay down, after exhausting all my idea's of drawing him out. I then, for some reason, told him that if he had done something wrong, no matter what it is, that I would always love him. But he still remained silent.

After I left him in his room for a bit, I went in and laid down on his bed next to him. I again assured him that I loved him, and if he needed to talk, he could.

He then sits up and sobs his heart out, "dad, I have something to tell you, I have not been able to sleep for three nights, because I accidentally broke something and I have been hiding it from you." Sobbing a bit more, I wait, asking God for wisdom to use this time to train my son, but not wanting to rush him from feeling the weight of his sin. He then tells me what happened. I then asked him where it was. He said, not looking, but pointing, "it's under my bed." I hug him as I feel the relief and freedom he is experiencing as he confesses and reveals the sin he has been harboring. "Oh son, thank you for telling daddy." Holding each other pretty tightly, I ask, "son is there anything else, don't hide anything, get it all out." He seemed relieved for the invitation, "dad, over there", again not looking, only pointing, "over there on the side of the wardrobe is a snakes head I broke off." Again, I assure him that Jesus died for these sins, and that we need to confess them to him. I then added how much I love him and remind him that he has done the right thing in telling me.

The countenance and transformation that happened before my eyes, still brings a wetness to my eyes, as I retell you this.

As you can imagine, the weight of the world was lifted off this little guy. He ran, and I mean ran to his mummy to ask for her forgiveness and told her what happened. Boy, God's grace is so amazing and humbling.

I remember reflecting on this with my wife that night. Why do we hide our sin? Why do we keep sin hidden instead of bringing it into the light?

What really stood out to us was recalling the change in Caleb over the few days before he confessed his sin. I kept saying to Meg, "something is wrong." I kept on him, though I could have ignored it, but I couldn't let it go... Sometimes, I find that God enables us to sense something is not right, and we need to ask questions. Not accuse. Thankfully my wife helps me guard against accusing the children. Now there have been times when I have been wrong, and I have needed to humbly confess my sin to my children. Thankfully, they have graciously forgiven me. I am so grateful to God for that! And yet there have been times, where there has been something wrong, and I have needed to push and draw out my wife and children. I just need to remember to ask, and not accuse. (Learn from my mistakes dads...)

Husbands, Fathers, Men, I encourage you; Ask lots of questions... You never know how that might help lead your wife and children to walk in the light. Your invitation to let your family open up and talk is a wonderful gift to our family.

In fact, tonight - I entered into some conversation with Caleb, now 10, reminding him of my love for him, my commitment to him, my appreciation of him. He then went off to bed and then came back down about 30 minutes later. Tears in his eyes, "dad, I have been hiding something from you, I need to confess it."

Oh, the joy as a dad, to know that the Holy Spirit is working in your child...

Again, I am so committed to parent with an eternal perspective. I trust you will be encouraged to as well... because of the cross...

Way's of Abdictaing Responsibility

I love my wife! After I posted here, about Abdicating Responsibility, she graciously suggested I explain what I meant by abdicating. What a wise woman. Then she pointed out that I ought to explain what I meant by my mom not being my friend, but my mother. Again, a wise observation! Men, don't you rejoice when your wife points out things you overlook. For me, when I am not being prideful, which I need to work on, I see why God put me with my wife. She sees things, I don't. I can learn a lot from her, so thank you honey... In print LOL (laugh out loud), I do tell her this often...

So what I meant by abdicating responsibility is: when dad's, in particular (but it goes for moms too) see training that needs to be done, but don't do it. Instead allowing mum, teacher, coach, boss to bring the correction or direction that should come from dad when present, or mom when dad is not present.

Let me give you an example of what this has looked like for us.

I come home from work, kiss everyone & then sit down and begin playing with the children. Meg is in the kitchen preparing dinner. We are happily playing and one of the twin girls is playing with her younger sister and hits her. I don't do anything I just ignore it, because I can't be bothered. I hear from the kitchen, "honey, Bethy has just hit Keziah, do you want to do something about that?" I might answer, "there all right" or "you can".

Now as simple as that sounds, and possibly innocent to some men, that is an abdication of my God given roll to "train up my child in the way he or she should go." I am leaving this opportunity to go to my wife, who has been with the children all day, and because I am tired, or can't be bothered, I abdicate the responsibility. Regardless if my wife has been with the children all day or not, since I am the leader in my home, I should seize every opportunity to share & model the gospel of Jesus Christ with my wife and children.

Now, what I ought to have done, is got my lazy bum off the ground and took Bethy up to the bedroom and addressed her heart. Not the hit to Keziah, that is just an outward expression of an inward condition. So, I take Bethy up stairs and speak to her about what's in her heart that she needs to hit Keziah. Yes Bethy is four, and no, not every time do I reason with her, however I do need to lovingly bring about correction, not in anger, but with much love and patience. I need to show Bethy that the Bible tells us in James 4:1-12 that the reason we have fights and quarrels is because we don't get our own way. Do you feel that you are not getting your own way Bethy? Do you think it is right to hit your sister when you don't get your own way?

Do you remember what the Bible says about how we are to treat each other? Colossians 3:12-25 tells us how to live holy lives. Now Bethy do you know that daddy is a sinner too? Jesus died on the cross for you and me. Not only is Bethy a sinner but so is daddy and mommy. In fact daddy and mommy have to ask Jesus to forgive us of our sin's too. In 1 John 1:9 the Bible tells us that if we confess our sins, He if faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That's pretty cool that Jesus would do that for us, huh Bethy? Now Bethy, we need to go down stairs and apologize to Keziah, but before we do that let's ask Jesus to forgive us.

Some may think that this is way too extreme? I sure hope it's not too extreme. But I do believe I am to teach my children that the Bible is what shapes our thinking. The Bible is what guides us. And if the Lord should take either my wife or I home to be with Him, then the kids know that the Bible is what they use to learn how to live for their Heavenly Father.

I share this not to boast, but to help you and offer you a way in which to train your child. My wife and I have done this with all of our children, at different times and in different ways. Please know, it is God's grace that enables us to do this, however it takes a lot of time and we have a lot to learn. Please don't discipline in anger. Please don't give up training your children! If your not sure what to do, ask your pastor, a older man who has children older than yours, ask questions... For the glory of God let's stay committed to parenting with an eternal perspective...

I am asking Caleb tomorrow, if I can share a story with you about him.

Before I do, I will start off explaining what I meant about my mother NOT being my friend, but my mother - tomorrow...

Meg's Miscellaneous Monday Mentions

Another glorious Monday and more blog posts to point you towards this week, each one packed with nuggets of wisdom that will hopefully point you towards the Lords.

First up this week is an incredibly well written piece by James McDonald, over at Family Reformation, entitled 'Death of a Salesman'. James writes an incredibly honest and insightful piece about the recent death of his father. While it is apparent that his father continued in his ancestors footsteps by choosing a selfish life, James is still able to acknowledge God's grace in his own life, which has allowed him to still glean something from his earthly father, inspite of his upbringing. Both Patrick and I found this post refreshingly honest, and while sad in part, glorious in another, as James gives great glory to God for what the Lord has done. It is well worth reading, especially for those who may struggle with forgiveness or bitterness. It is a wonderful reminder of the forgiveness we have in the Lord when we trust in Him as our Saviour.

Next, a little unusual, but I am actually going to recommend you head over to Stacy McDonalds' blog, Your Sacred Calling (yes, this is James' wife). While she has also written about her father-in-laws' death, it is slightly different in that she addresses how we can use our upbringing as an excuse for sin. I think that this can equally apply to using any bad circumstance or experience as an excuse for sinning - anything from lack of sleep, hormones, illness, betrayal, abuse or death. While the Lord most certainly gives us grace to work through all of these issues, tests, trials and even tragedies, there is nothing in scripture that leads us to believe that the Lord excuses our sin just becuase of what others have done to us, or by terrible circumstances. I pray that the Lord might use what Stacy has written to remind you that the Lord is the Redeemer and He is able to use all things for His glory.

It must be a day of 'unusuals', as I am going to tell you about another blog, rather than give you a link to read it yourself. This past week I read an amazing blog about a young wife/mother dying of cancer. Today I read that she has gone home to be with the Lord, and so I didn't think it was appropriate that I send you all over to read about it. Somehow it seemed intrusive to her grieving family.

So instead, I will tell you briefly of how I was so inspired by the peace and joy that this whole family seemed to radiate as they wrote of this ladies battle with cancer. I imagine she felt very many emotions as death drew nearer, but it seems her goal was to glorify God through this trial and tragedy that she faced.

This left me feeling deeply convicted of how I look at trials and struggles in my own life, none of which have even remotely been life threatening. I am afraid that often my responses are self centred rather than Christ centred, illuminating the fact that my hope and joy are often misplaced in my circumstances, rather than in my awesome Creator and Redeemer. I was greatly encouraged and yet challenged by this family's joy and confidence in their Saviour, as they knew that He was with them regardless of whether God healed this lady or took her to be with Him in heaven.

We know that our days are numbered and that every one of us must face death eventually.

So my questions are these: If you are not a Christian, I would ask you to consider what you will say to God when you meet Him face to face, as He asks you, "Why should I let you into my heaven?" What will you say? I pray that you might come to know Jesus as your Lord and Saviour so that you may be assured of an eternity with Him.

If you are a Christian, then I would ask how are you responding to the trials and tragedies that you face in your life? Are your trials characterised by fear, anxiety, depression, complaining and anger? Or are they characterised by a deep peace and confidence in knowing that your Saviour is with you, even in the face of death?

Yes, we are human and we may give way to many mixed emotions when circumstances are painful and so very hard to bear, but do we ultimately raise our hands to give glory to God, regardless of the pain we may face? I pray that we would all ask the Lord to help us to glorify and praise Him daily, no matter the depth of tragedy we face. There is nothing that He does not see, and nothing that He does not allow us to go through without the grace by which to stand.

Abdicating Responsibility

My mother was a fairly consistent type of lady. That is to say, that if mom said, "NO", it didn't mean this time, but not next time. No meant No!

I grew up not liking the fact that I did not get away with much. In fact, I used to hate birds. My mother collected them. The reason I did not like birds was because, these "birdies" kept telling on me. At least that's what I thought. Until I discovered that birds were teachers, School Principals, Sunday School teachers, friends, peers, neighbors & sisters. I have two! So I really did not get away with much...

When I got a bit older, I remember complaining to my mom, "I wanted you to be my friend, like everyone else's moms were friends with them". I continued rambling about how everyone else got away with stuff, but no, not me!

I remember my mother saying to me, "Son, God called me to be your mom, NOT your friend"! That shut me right up! I remember thinking, there is alot of truth in that. I didn't like it at the time, but I saw the wisdom in that. But it was this next bit that has really played over and over in my mind. She said to me, "Son, the easy road is to ignore your disobedience." She then added, "The harder job is to deal with it".

Is that not the truth? As a parent myself, the easy thing to do, is to look the other way. Pretend we did not see that, or hear that, or notice that. The harder task is to put down the paper, get off the lounge, step away from the computer, push the food away, stop the conversation and take the God given privilege we have been entrusted with, to train our children in the way that they should go.

How are we doing? Are we seizing every opportunity to train our children in the Gospel, that presents itself, or are we abdicating our responsibilities?

Over the next few posts, I will share with you some of the successes and failings of the Chavez family's opportunities to train our children. This is going to be done with the intention of encouraging you. Giving you a laugh. Providing you with some ideas. But most importantly, to remind you of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is the reason we do what we do. We don't want to raise "good kids". We want to raise children who are aware of their need of a Savior.

I think we ought to be strategic and intentional about, 'parenting with an eternal perspective'...

So, we thought we would share some of our experiences with you... and yes, with our children's permission...

Leading in Sickness

Is God still good in sickness? Is God still good in poverty? Is God still good in famine & war? Is God only good when we prosper or when we are well fed? When we have the nice house, nice car, nice clothes and right friends? Is God only good when we are healthy?

This past week my wife and children have been quite sick. However in it, there has still been much praise and thanksgiving to God. I am not saying that to boast, but I am sharing that to encourage you fathers. Encourage you, that this comes when Dad leads the family in making observations about the truth of the test we have been entrusted with.

Several times through the night, our daughters are waking us up. Our sons are up and down as well. We have been getting only few hours of sleep and yet, the temptation is not to spend time reading God's Word. Why? Because we get irritated or frustrated that these kids are waking us up in the night. How are we suppose to function, we mumble to ourselves or to our spouse in anger. But is that the truth? Is God not providing us with an opportunity to depend on Him? Do we see these times as a means of grace, from God, to grow in godliness?

My heart is warmed when I descend the stairs to see my wife look up from her Bible, with a physically worn out body, but eyes that show that her soul has been filled and refueled enough to carry out the tasks of caring for the children we have been entrusted with.

Admittedly we are growing in this. This is not the way it has always been. However after experiencing God's grace, when making the choice to spend time alone with God and His Word, how can we not take time to spend with Him, in order to serve each other and our children?

Dad's lead well. Encourage, create time and space for such appointments with the Lord. Even if you don't have children, and are just newly married. Remind your wife of the opportunities to grow in godliness.

ONLY, because of the cross...

Another Idea 4 Dads Leading Devotions

From yesterday's post, let me give you a few more idea's on serving your family by way of devotions.

Now sometimes, I am not able to lead the family in devotions every day. However it is still my responsibility to ensure that this spiritual discipline or practice takes place. Let's face it, things come up that are outside of our control, so there ought to be a way in which our children are learning to have their own times with the Lord and learning.

Here is what we do. I will provide or suggest some things for my children to read & then ask them to write down words they don't understand. Then when I return home, or when mum can sit with them at some stage, we discuss words and understandings of the passage. So for example, Abigail, my oldest girl, loves Psalms 23. The reason she loves it is because she reads it, and re-reads it. Caleb, my oldest, loves to read everything and anything. So he likes challenges. So when he reads Judges or 1 Chronicles, he is invigorated by the account of history and war. He loves trying to pronounce the names & piecing together where they belong in the story of the Bible. Yes, he is 10! I was not that inspired at his age, but we are running with it, while he likes it.

This works well when mum has a Dr.'s appointment or has to go out first thing, and you have a busy schedule, and the demands of the day are not allowing you to all sit together to do devotions. This also works when family members are sick & in bed too.

Here is another scenario. What if you are a dad who has to travel alot and work keeps you from doing daily devotions with your family? *** NOTE*** please know this takes time to develop but it is possible to execute. Or it may be an idea for something you can aim to put into practice. It will do your son or daughter a world of good.

So this is what I have done. I have asked my oldest son Caleb, when I am away for a night or a few days, to lead the family in devotions. I will usually provide him with some suggestions in what he can read with the family. Another thing I have done is given him a simple challenge. Here is one task I have given him. I provided him a memory verse and say that if he can get everyone to memorize it by the time I get home, I will have a reward for everyone.

You may ask, where is his mum? Of course mum is present with an observing and encouraging eye. Mum oversees and encourages her boy to lead well. I must tell you, there is an undescribeable joy when your wife reports that your boy is taking delight in leading the family, and doing it well.

If you have all girls, encourage mum to lead them and model for them what it is to study the Bible, but it still is your responsibility dad, to lead mum in the training of your children in godliness and holiness.

I hope you find these ideas helpful. I am not an expert, but enjoy trying to bring out the best in my family... hoping they will stand before our Savior one day, giving gratitude to the Lord for their Salvation, through Jesus Christ.

Dad's Doing Devotions!

Doesn't your back tighten up when someone tells you to do something? I can get that way. But after I settle down, I can handle it better, when someone provides me with some direction on how to do what they are suggesting.

As dad's I think it is often encouraged that we do devotions with our families, or that we should be leading our families in devotions. But sometimes, we don't know what that looks like.

Let me encourage you with what I do. Not that I am an expert, but I find it helpful to hear of how others do it & then I can have a go. So for me, I get a devotional and the bible and find a quiet place for the kids to sit down. We have six! All of us, oldest to youngest, go to the lounge area and sit down. I then start with this devotional story. As I am reading the story I ask lots of questions throughout the story to insure that the kids are listening. I also use lots of pitch tones, and dramatization, for effect. The kids love it. Even the 18 month old. Then we read a passage from the Bible, and conclude in prayer. This sometimes takes ages, because they all want to pray... But we love it and let them!

Here is something some of you won't like, but I will say it anyway. Not just any book is going to do as a devotional. Your local Christian Book Store is out to make money, and they are not doing the hard work for you. As a dad you got to make sure that you are not just teaching your kids to be good kids. That's teaching morality, which is helpful, but not the aim of the game. The aim of the game is to teach your children the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To win their heart. It's not just behavior you want to change. It is the heart you want to change. They need to learn what Jesus commands of us, not how to be nice people.

So you want to keep your ear to the ground for sound biblical resources. Ask your pastor, other godly guys, or a dad who has six kids... LOL - Let me share one with you, that I have found helpful.

Sinclair Ferguson has a great family devotional guide called, "The Big Book of Questions and Answers". He starts from the beginning (Creation), and takes us to the end (The Lord's Return). If you click on the title you can order the book.

Here are the contents of this devotional:

* God is our Creator
* How things went wrong
* God had a plan
* Jesus came to save
* We become like Jesus
* We obey God
* How the Bible helps us
* Learning how to pray
* Belonging to the church
* Jesus will come back

I have done several of these lessons with our children. They love it! You will too. There are great activities Ferguson suggests, which left us all laughing at each other's drawings and hugging each other when we finished. It is so great for the family. They are nice and short too. 10 -15 minutes.

Dad's, please don't let unfamiliar ground be the reason you don't do devotions with your family. Try not to grow weary if it doesn't work out the first couple of times, we had that too. Also don't be afraid to bring discipline and correction during this time. Be consistent and loving. It is meant to be fun & exciting.

Do devotions - your whole family will grow closer to the Savior & in the end - you will then be parenting with an eternal perspective...

Meg's Miscellaneous Monday (or Friday!)

I know it's Friday, but I figured I was either late for last Monday, or early for next Monday! I like to think it is the latter!!!

This week, rather than a theme of 'mentions' to other blog posts, I have a wide variety of topics. My prayer is that they will all challenge and encourage you in your walk with the Lord and how you live that out on a daily basis.

First up is a wonderful post by John Piper at Desiring God entitled "How can eternity influence a mother's daily tasks?". It is a fresh perspective on how our view of parenting should be influenced by the Lord and how He has global purpose, not just a confined view of life within the 4 walls of our home. Here is a quote from his post:

"The women who flourish most and who delight most in that calling—and who are best at it—are not women whose lives are circumscribed by their houses. They are women who are aware of the world. They're aware of God's global purpose. They're aware of the ultimate purposes of God in history. They're aware of things in history and in the far off reaches of the world today that God is doing. And those are part of what they want to build into these children. They want to raise global Christians, world Christians."

Next is a great post called "Costly Hospitality", written by Nicole over at 168 hours. She writes of the amazing sacrifice that Jonathan and Sarah Edwards made when they agreed to open their home up to a terminally ill man, David Brainerd. After they then went onto lose their own daughter as a result of the tuberculosis, probably contracted from Brainerd, they were still able to thank the Lord for the opportunity to care for their dying friend. What an amazing perspective! I was so utterly convicted by this couples commitment to serve the Lord by such a costly display of hospitality, and then to even praise Him inspite of their own loss.

I can sometimes (ok... often!) grumble at the energy it takes to clean my house in order to make it 'presentable' for visitors, which is really just my pride in not wanting them to think this mother of 6 has a messy home! I can also weigh up whether or not I have the time or energy to even invite someone over for coffee, wondering if selfishly it will inconvenience me or my family in some way. How humbling to read of this couple who did not consider it too great a cost to serve the Lord by opening up their home in such a way! I pray the Lord would change my heart in the way I see hospitality and how I can serve the Lord and others.

On a completely different note is a brilliant quote from Charles Spurgeon. He is giving advice to young pastors or those entering into church ministry. You can read his brilliant wisdom here at the Desiring God website.

Lastly, here is an encouraging reminder to keep praying for your loved ones who are yet to know Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour. You can find the whole post titled "This Person Will Never Be Saved" over at The Blazing Centre. It reminded me that nobody is beyond God's reach and that He is powerful enough to save even the most hardened of sinners. He saved me, right? Don't give up praying and remember that the Lord is at work, even through your witness and testimony for His glory.

Here is just a short quote from the piece: "There is no one beyond the reach of God’s fathomless love. Even the most hardened sinner can be broken by the hammer of God’s mercy. Don’t stop praying for the hardened sinners in your life."

Have a great weekend and be encouraged to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!