Quote by Francis Schaeffer

In an address to students at the University of Notre Dame, the great apologist Frances Schaeffer made this profound statement:

"Christianity is not a series of truths in the plural, but rather truth spelled with a capital "T". Truth about total reality, not just about religious things. Biblical Christianity is Truth concerning total reality - and the intellectual holding of that total Truth and then living in the light of that Truth."

Photo found here

What Does Servant Leadership Look Like When...

... you feel you are being constantly attacked & criticized in your marriage?

It can be painful and frustrating to feel criticized all of the time. Especially if you feel your efforts are never good enough. You may be tempted to withdraw or give up. But don't!

Jesus was regularly criticized and rejected, and we know his efforts were nothing less than perfect! In the book of Isaiah, we are reminded by the author, Isaiah that, "He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth" (Isaiah 53:9). Now we are operating in our role, as husbands, in a fallen world. Even if we were perfect, or providing perfect leadership, it will not always get us a pat on the back, or the 'atta-boy' we may seek. However, Jesus is our model in marriage as well as a companion in seasons of discouragement. To be criticized for doing your best is the path of servant-leadership in this age.

Jesus' leadership is effective! Followers of Christ are evidence that persevering through criticism and rejection is powerful and effective.

Peter, a disciple of Jesus wrote about His rejection like this: "For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls" (1 Peter 2:25). I think Peter is saying that, followers of Christ are saved, because Jesus refused to give up in the face of rejection. Instead, He trusted God to be at work through the rejection.

Now you and I show Jesus to our wife when we persevere in loving her, even as we "feel" rejected and criticized.

But let me ask you, how do you respond to her criticism?

Can I tell you something? How you respond to her criticism may be your most powerful way of loving your wife and a testimony to Christ's work in your life.

Jesus could be using your wife to be speaking to you about sin in your life. Can there be something truthful about your wife's criticism? Sure, we're not talking about her delivery of the criticism, but has she nailed you for something that you need to man-up on? Your wife can see things you can't see. Being criticized ain't easy!

So let's ask God to help us put on humility and be willing to learn from her, even if her delivery is harsh.

After you examine yourself, make sure you really understand what's going on with your wife. Try not to respond defensively; figure out what is driving her criticism. Sometimes it sounds like irritation or anger, but could it be fear? Is she actually trying to say, "I'm afraid you love your job or career more then me and the kids" or "I'm afraid you want to spend time with your mates more then me"?

Look, spend time trying to resolve this! Don't quit or give up or with-draw! Please don't! Perhaps unresolved hurts from the past need to be addressed. Maybe there is some financial strain. But know this, her criticism, particularly its ungodly expression, tells you as much about her as it does about you.

A servant-leader is going to spend some intentional time, understanding and then ministering to his wife more than he will be worried about defending himself.

Ask God for help as you exercise the servant-leadership role you have been entrusted with!

Who's The Boss?

Can I ask you - how do you, as a husband, express love through your role as a husband to your wife? Let me say, this will look different in each of our marriages, because our families have different needs. But allow me to suggest, that there are specific things you and your spouse can do. However there are also some things we should try to avoid, as we live out our different roles.

Today, I will write about our roles as the Husband and how we can use our roles to model Christ. I'm going to provide 4 ways, I think, we can use our God given roles to better serve our wife... Ephesians 5:22-33 is the passage of Scripture I am using to base these thoughts on.

1) Serving our wife with sacrificial love.
In Ephesians 5, the word "love" is used 7 times in 9 verses to explain the role of the husband. Therefore I think it would be fair to say that we should know and imitate Jesus' example of loving the church. Jesus loved the Church sacrificially, therefore so should we. But not only the Church, our wife! If Jesus laid down His life for the Church - should we not lay down our life for our wife?

2) Building your wife up and helping her grow as a Christian will be your goal.
Notice in these verses there is not a description of duties here, rather words that point us to our basic responsibility: promoting the welfare of others in love. As long as our goal is love, there appears to be freedom and latitude to work out the details with our wife in many and different ways. But our motive is building our wife up - NOT tearing her down, embarrassing, berating or humiliating her...

3) Misuse of our authority may hinder our wife's growth.
Being a control freak is not going to serve our wife. By doing this, it does not allow our wife to grow in wisdom. Part of our role as husbands is, developing our wife to exercise her own faith by making choices, and even bad ones. Protecting our wife, which we have been called to do, does not mean we are to try and control everything she does. We need to graciously and wisely provide opportunities for our wife to face situations that require her to trust God, grow in wisdom, and learn responsibility.

4) Intentionally working at getting to know your wife.
If you don't know what your wife's life is like, how can you help her make wise choices? Know her daily routine. Observe her in actions throughout the day. Watch the temptation she faces to become irritated and agitated. Seek ways to spend time with her, drawing her out and getting to know what she thinks on things. LISTEN!!! If your not listening to your wife and understanding her, she won't accept or be confident in your advice. Right honey?

Men, we are only stewards of this authority! You and I are called to use it for His goals and purposes.

Go well!!!

Resolving Parenting Disagreements

Do you have disagreements with your wife about the children? Do you agree or disagree about what the rules should be or what they should not be? How then do you resolve those disagreements? Do you talk about it? Do you just hope that it will go away?

Can I suggest that it is very important that each parent hear the other one out? Sometimes, I just need to shut my mouth and listen. My wife has some good things to say, I just need to shut up, and listen. Sometimes, I think, NO, you need to listen to me... which is not helpful - surprise - surprise!

One Christian Psychologist suggests that; "To achieve a win-win situation, each parent needs to freely express his or her views in a positive way and then be sympathetic and respectful of the spouse's views." I agree with this, however I would only add to this statement. I would add that to achieve a win-win situation, the husband needs to seek to serve his wife, the way Christ serves the Church. One way of serving my wife might be to just listen to her. Then when she is finished, I present my idea's and then together we reach a conclusion that is going to glorify Christ the most. Personally, this sounds amazing, and my wife will be delighted to know I am thinking like this... Now I just need to put this into practice!

So men, let's not avoid the discussion that may need to be had. Initiate the conversation about known disciplinary problems with your children. So for example, is it a problem that the kids are taking food into their room, not picking up toys, constantly resisting going to bed or talking back? If so, resolve together what you are committed to addressing and then set up some consequences for each misbehavior. Be consistent and loving... Remember we are after their hearts, being changed...

I trust you will be able to resolve parenting disagreements, for the glory of God!!!

Meg's Birthday Weekend

I have never been one to do things in small ways... When it's a birthday - you got to celebrate... Just ask my bride... Even if your b-day is on a Saturday, you just gotta get up at 4:30 AM or 5:00 AM...

Thanks for being such a good sport honey!

So in true fashion, we have celebrated my wife's life this weekend. Rejoicing that God saw put us all together.


SO .....

Happy Birthday B.A.S.!!!

I am so glad God has entrusted you with another year....

I love you!!! & so do your children!!!

Winning Your Wife's Heart

Got some questions for you husbands...

How are you intentionally winning your wife's heart?

You might be thinking, what are you talking about, winning my wife's heart? She is my wife, there is a ring on her finger, we are married, what more could I do? Of course I have her heart!

Well, I'm talking of intentional care for your wife, which leads to winning her heart. Not giving her an allowance, taking her for dinner, making sure she has clothes & flowers once in a while. Occasionally calling her, telling her you love her. Though, all of those things are great, and those things should continue. I guess what I am hinting at is, could you be doing more to win her heart & becoming closer at heart?

Here are some suggested questions that may help you win her heart further...

1. What are your bride's burdens?

• What are her cares?
• What things happened to her today that are weighing her down?
• What happened that is troubling her?
• What things is she thinking about tomorrow, next week or say 5 years from now that prey on her?
• What's the worst thing that happened to her today?

By asking your bride these questions, you will discover some amazing and important information. These questions help you have a deeper understanding and love for one another.

2. What are your bride's joys?

• What's the best thing that happened to her today?
• Was there a moment that brought her pleasure?
• What is she grateful for?
• What was your brides highlight for today?
• As she looks back over her life, or the past week, what has brought her joy?
• What is she looking forward to in the future?

These questions point our wife to the good things that have been happening. It is easy to be bogged down by the frustrations of the day to day running of the house or work. By asking your wife what good things are happening, it may just help her refocus, but also provide you an opportunity to show appreciation and encouragement. It is also good to pray and thank God for the good things.

3. What's your bride's purpose?

• What's on her mind?
• What are her goals?
• What's she got planned for the day?
• What's she got planned for tomorrow?
• What does she want to plan to accomplish this week, month or year?

These questions are different than the first two. The first two are about experience, whereas this is an action question. They are helping you draw out her heart as to where she finds meaning.

I hope that when you ask these questions, together you and your wife will learn each other's joys, burdens and direction.

I wouldn't be surprised, that by asking these questions, you will win more of her heart. When two people sorrow together, rejoice together, and join together in life task, the result is intimacy and closeness.

Is that not something we men want?

For the glory of God...

Meg's Miscellaneous Monday Mentions

We interrupt embarrassing stories about our children (shared with permission!) to bring you this weeks' round of links to other blogs.

This YouTube clip is cute, funny, but way too close to home when it comes to some of the songs we sing in church or hear floating around the Christian music industry. I thought it was a very good reminder to us all that worship is about God - who He is, what He has done and giving all the praise, honour and glory to Him. It is not about us - our trials and tribulations, our feelings, our lives and what we do for God. If the songs you are singing, both at church, in your car or on your mp3 player are more about 'me' than about Him, then maybe it's time to turn the dial to a new channel. One that points all the glory and praise to Him.

I know that The Muppets are a hard act to follow, but here is a very challenging post

titled, 'Eat Bitter' from Carolyn McCulley over at 'Radical Womanhood'. The full article is here at Boundless Webzine. The phrase, 'eating bitter', comes from the Chinese who are taught that enduring hardship is as valuable as overcoming it. Carolyn puts forward the idea that we so often just seek to change our surroundings as soon as they cause us any discomfort or irritation, rather than face them head on and learn from them whatever lessons it may that God wants us to learn. Obviously this in itself can be a hard thing to read, but I found it very challenging to myself and my own attitudes. Hopefully you will, too!

Last, but not least, is a fantastic quote from Charles Spurgeon, posted over at Pyromaniacs. Although Spurgeon was preaching this message nearly 150 years ago, the powerful words that he has to say about the never changing truths of the Gospel are still completely relevant for today. We are facing the shifting sands of modern times, which is nothing new under the sun. It is obvious from Spurgeons' words that the church faced the same thing in his day. I pray that his words would be a good reminder to you today that God's word is the truth and it is the same yesterday, today and forever. It requires no new thing to add to it, to make it more attractive or entertaining to the masses. It does not need to be intellectualized for the educated, nor does it need to be dumbed down to be easier to swallow.

"Christ's gospel is no new gospel; and moreover, we are old-fashioned
enough to believe that not one doctrine is to be altered, nor half a doctrine,
nor the thousandth part of a doctrine, no nor yet the form of a doctrine. We
would "hold fast the form of sound words"—not only the principle mark, but the
words; and not only the words, but the very form in which the words were
moulded."

My Son Stole a Toy From the Store...

I read an article the other day. It was entitled, 'My Son stole a toy from the store. What should I do?'

I couldn't help compare the authors advise on what you should do, to how my parent's handled the situation.

The authors approach is understandable, however I think where he has gone wrong is, he has started in the wrong place. He starts with the parent's instead of starting with God. He begins by describing the motivation for acting on the theft is out of a parent's embarrassment, instead of the fact that the 7th Commandment is, "do not steal".

There is a temptation to want to justify our sinful actions. I do it. I listen, as others do that as well. We have a hard time owning up to our sins. And sure, I can appreciate the author's approach, to help parent's not feel like they are alone. Many children steal. But we train our children not to steal because, God instructs us not to steal. We don't train our children not to steal so others will think they are a good person. Or because we as parent's don't want to be embarrassed or shamed by our children's theft.

The author suggests that depending on your child's temperament, you don't get them to confess to the owner. I disagree completely. I think that pride is what stops us from humbling ourselves, even if we are shy, we need to admit our mistakes and confess our sin.

Let me tell you what my parent's did.

After I coaxed my younger sister into putting a pack of bubble gum in her hand bag one afternoon, we then tried to enjoy the rest of the afternoon sneaking bits of gum into our mouth.

We made it through the day, and it was time for bed. However it was in the quietness of the dark, my younger sister was feeling way more convicted then I was. She began crying. My mom asked what was the matter. I kept telling my sister to "shhhhh", because I did not want to get busted. Too late for that. Mom called my sister into the lounge, and shortly after - I followed.

Mom and dad disciplined us and then told us that we needed to make this right. So they loaded me and my younger sister in the car and we headed down to the shop. I remember it was late. It was night time, and I thought, I don't want to go to jail at night. I will never forget the fear, as dad talked privately to the owner of the store. I was very afraid and to be honest, I did not want to confess my thievery. I'm glad that mom and dad had us do that though. Extreme? Sounds like it, but the pay off for their faithfulness in teaching us was much greater. Yes, my sister & I were very young. We thought for sure we were going to get thrown in the clanger. We kissed our mom good bye, just in case we did get taken off to Juvenile Hall. But we were taught that what we did was wrong.

Dad came back to get me and my sister. We were waiting to go into the managers office. In we went, without dad to confess our actions.

The manager did a great job of letting us know that what we had done was very wrong. He praised my sister for telling my parents what we had done. He had a stern word to me about teaching my sister to steal. He promised that if we ever stole again, he would call the police on us.

When we went home, I think mom had hot chocolate and cookies for us. Not as a treat, but as a way of letting us know she cared for us. It helped us to talk about what we had done some more and remember that we don't steal. We don't steal, because God teaches us that.

You know, it is hard work to train children... but you know it's much harder when you try to teach morality and not the Gospel of Jesus Christ to our children.

From a young age - teach your children with an eternal perspective...

For His Glory

Not Abdicating with Caleb

If you are joining us for the first time, we have been discussing, abdicating our responsibilities as parents. I have posted here and here about what that looks like and what it means.

Before I tell you about Caleb, I have promised that I would explain a comment I made about my mother making a brilliant statement to me. My mother told me, when I asked her why she wasn't my friend, like all my other friends moms, she told me, "God called me to be your mom, not your friend". Now I didn't like the statement at the time, but I saw the wisdom in the comment then, but even more so now.

I wanted mom to be my "friend", so she would go light on me. I had observed that the moms that were "buddies", let things slide a bit more and were a bit "cooler" than my mom was. But the truth was that these "Buddies", ignored things, let things slip or abdicated their God given roles. My mother wouldn't do that. And she didn't. As I have matured I can see that, my mom's thought process is correct. It is so much harder to deal with sin. It is so much easier to let things slip by, ignore, turn the other direction, because if I pretend I didn't see it, I don't have to deal with it.

I think because I saw this in my mom, I have been able to utilize this in my own family. So, thanks mom!

As promised, this afternoon, I sought Caleb's permission to tell you a story about him. He suggested I share this account with you.

Caleb was 7 years old at the time and we were discovering a lot of carelessness with the way he was taking care of toys. What was concerning us was, not so much the broken toys, but that we would discover the broken toys, without someone telling us that they broke a toy. To us, this seemed like a hint of deception.

Now Meg & I had told Caleb and the other children that if another toy was broken and they did not come and tell us that they had broken it, but we found it, there would be consequences.

A few days went by and we were noticing Caleb was acting very strange. Normally, Caleb is a very pleasant boy. But for some reason, he was very teary, tired & frustrated. When I would quiz him on his behavior, he would assure me that nothing was wrong. I must confess, I did not believe him, and I would push more, but he stuck to his story.

A few days later, Caleb was looking dreadful. He had black rings under his eyes, and he was being very cheeky. I sent him to his room to have a lay down, after exhausting all my idea's of drawing him out. I then, for some reason, told him that if he had done something wrong, no matter what it is, that I would always love him. But he still remained silent.

After I left him in his room for a bit, I went in and laid down on his bed next to him. I again assured him that I loved him, and if he needed to talk, he could.

He then sits up and sobs his heart out, "dad, I have something to tell you, I have not been able to sleep for three nights, because I accidentally broke something and I have been hiding it from you." Sobbing a bit more, I wait, asking God for wisdom to use this time to train my son, but not wanting to rush him from feeling the weight of his sin. He then tells me what happened. I then asked him where it was. He said, not looking, but pointing, "it's under my bed." I hug him as I feel the relief and freedom he is experiencing as he confesses and reveals the sin he has been harboring. "Oh son, thank you for telling daddy." Holding each other pretty tightly, I ask, "son is there anything else, don't hide anything, get it all out." He seemed relieved for the invitation, "dad, over there", again not looking, only pointing, "over there on the side of the wardrobe is a snakes head I broke off." Again, I assure him that Jesus died for these sins, and that we need to confess them to him. I then added how much I love him and remind him that he has done the right thing in telling me.

The countenance and transformation that happened before my eyes, still brings a wetness to my eyes, as I retell you this.

As you can imagine, the weight of the world was lifted off this little guy. He ran, and I mean ran to his mummy to ask for her forgiveness and told her what happened. Boy, God's grace is so amazing and humbling.

I remember reflecting on this with my wife that night. Why do we hide our sin? Why do we keep sin hidden instead of bringing it into the light?

What really stood out to us was recalling the change in Caleb over the few days before he confessed his sin. I kept saying to Meg, "something is wrong." I kept on him, though I could have ignored it, but I couldn't let it go... Sometimes, I find that God enables us to sense something is not right, and we need to ask questions. Not accuse. Thankfully my wife helps me guard against accusing the children. Now there have been times when I have been wrong, and I have needed to humbly confess my sin to my children. Thankfully, they have graciously forgiven me. I am so grateful to God for that! And yet there have been times, where there has been something wrong, and I have needed to push and draw out my wife and children. I just need to remember to ask, and not accuse. (Learn from my mistakes dads...)

Husbands, Fathers, Men, I encourage you; Ask lots of questions... You never know how that might help lead your wife and children to walk in the light. Your invitation to let your family open up and talk is a wonderful gift to our family.

In fact, tonight - I entered into some conversation with Caleb, now 10, reminding him of my love for him, my commitment to him, my appreciation of him. He then went off to bed and then came back down about 30 minutes later. Tears in his eyes, "dad, I have been hiding something from you, I need to confess it."

Oh, the joy as a dad, to know that the Holy Spirit is working in your child...

Again, I am so committed to parent with an eternal perspective. I trust you will be encouraged to as well... because of the cross...

Way's of Abdictaing Responsibility

I love my wife! After I posted here, about Abdicating Responsibility, she graciously suggested I explain what I meant by abdicating. What a wise woman. Then she pointed out that I ought to explain what I meant by my mom not being my friend, but my mother. Again, a wise observation! Men, don't you rejoice when your wife points out things you overlook. For me, when I am not being prideful, which I need to work on, I see why God put me with my wife. She sees things, I don't. I can learn a lot from her, so thank you honey... In print LOL (laugh out loud), I do tell her this often...

So what I meant by abdicating responsibility is: when dad's, in particular (but it goes for moms too) see training that needs to be done, but don't do it. Instead allowing mum, teacher, coach, boss to bring the correction or direction that should come from dad when present, or mom when dad is not present.

Let me give you an example of what this has looked like for us.

I come home from work, kiss everyone & then sit down and begin playing with the children. Meg is in the kitchen preparing dinner. We are happily playing and one of the twin girls is playing with her younger sister and hits her. I don't do anything I just ignore it, because I can't be bothered. I hear from the kitchen, "honey, Bethy has just hit Keziah, do you want to do something about that?" I might answer, "there all right" or "you can".

Now as simple as that sounds, and possibly innocent to some men, that is an abdication of my God given roll to "train up my child in the way he or she should go." I am leaving this opportunity to go to my wife, who has been with the children all day, and because I am tired, or can't be bothered, I abdicate the responsibility. Regardless if my wife has been with the children all day or not, since I am the leader in my home, I should seize every opportunity to share & model the gospel of Jesus Christ with my wife and children.

Now, what I ought to have done, is got my lazy bum off the ground and took Bethy up to the bedroom and addressed her heart. Not the hit to Keziah, that is just an outward expression of an inward condition. So, I take Bethy up stairs and speak to her about what's in her heart that she needs to hit Keziah. Yes Bethy is four, and no, not every time do I reason with her, however I do need to lovingly bring about correction, not in anger, but with much love and patience. I need to show Bethy that the Bible tells us in James 4:1-12 that the reason we have fights and quarrels is because we don't get our own way. Do you feel that you are not getting your own way Bethy? Do you think it is right to hit your sister when you don't get your own way?

Do you remember what the Bible says about how we are to treat each other? Colossians 3:12-25 tells us how to live holy lives. Now Bethy do you know that daddy is a sinner too? Jesus died on the cross for you and me. Not only is Bethy a sinner but so is daddy and mommy. In fact daddy and mommy have to ask Jesus to forgive us of our sin's too. In 1 John 1:9 the Bible tells us that if we confess our sins, He if faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That's pretty cool that Jesus would do that for us, huh Bethy? Now Bethy, we need to go down stairs and apologize to Keziah, but before we do that let's ask Jesus to forgive us.

Some may think that this is way too extreme? I sure hope it's not too extreme. But I do believe I am to teach my children that the Bible is what shapes our thinking. The Bible is what guides us. And if the Lord should take either my wife or I home to be with Him, then the kids know that the Bible is what they use to learn how to live for their Heavenly Father.

I share this not to boast, but to help you and offer you a way in which to train your child. My wife and I have done this with all of our children, at different times and in different ways. Please know, it is God's grace that enables us to do this, however it takes a lot of time and we have a lot to learn. Please don't discipline in anger. Please don't give up training your children! If your not sure what to do, ask your pastor, a older man who has children older than yours, ask questions... For the glory of God let's stay committed to parenting with an eternal perspective...

I am asking Caleb tomorrow, if I can share a story with you about him.

Before I do, I will start off explaining what I meant about my mother NOT being my friend, but my mother - tomorrow...

Meg's Miscellaneous Monday Mentions

Another glorious Monday and more blog posts to point you towards this week, each one packed with nuggets of wisdom that will hopefully point you towards the Lords.

First up this week is an incredibly well written piece by James McDonald, over at Family Reformation, entitled 'Death of a Salesman'. James writes an incredibly honest and insightful piece about the recent death of his father. While it is apparent that his father continued in his ancestors footsteps by choosing a selfish life, James is still able to acknowledge God's grace in his own life, which has allowed him to still glean something from his earthly father, inspite of his upbringing. Both Patrick and I found this post refreshingly honest, and while sad in part, glorious in another, as James gives great glory to God for what the Lord has done. It is well worth reading, especially for those who may struggle with forgiveness or bitterness. It is a wonderful reminder of the forgiveness we have in the Lord when we trust in Him as our Saviour.

Next, a little unusual, but I am actually going to recommend you head over to Stacy McDonalds' blog, Your Sacred Calling (yes, this is James' wife). While she has also written about her father-in-laws' death, it is slightly different in that she addresses how we can use our upbringing as an excuse for sin. I think that this can equally apply to using any bad circumstance or experience as an excuse for sinning - anything from lack of sleep, hormones, illness, betrayal, abuse or death. While the Lord most certainly gives us grace to work through all of these issues, tests, trials and even tragedies, there is nothing in scripture that leads us to believe that the Lord excuses our sin just becuase of what others have done to us, or by terrible circumstances. I pray that the Lord might use what Stacy has written to remind you that the Lord is the Redeemer and He is able to use all things for His glory.

It must be a day of 'unusuals', as I am going to tell you about another blog, rather than give you a link to read it yourself. This past week I read an amazing blog about a young wife/mother dying of cancer. Today I read that she has gone home to be with the Lord, and so I didn't think it was appropriate that I send you all over to read about it. Somehow it seemed intrusive to her grieving family.

So instead, I will tell you briefly of how I was so inspired by the peace and joy that this whole family seemed to radiate as they wrote of this ladies battle with cancer. I imagine she felt very many emotions as death drew nearer, but it seems her goal was to glorify God through this trial and tragedy that she faced.

This left me feeling deeply convicted of how I look at trials and struggles in my own life, none of which have even remotely been life threatening. I am afraid that often my responses are self centred rather than Christ centred, illuminating the fact that my hope and joy are often misplaced in my circumstances, rather than in my awesome Creator and Redeemer. I was greatly encouraged and yet challenged by this family's joy and confidence in their Saviour, as they knew that He was with them regardless of whether God healed this lady or took her to be with Him in heaven.

We know that our days are numbered and that every one of us must face death eventually.

So my questions are these: If you are not a Christian, I would ask you to consider what you will say to God when you meet Him face to face, as He asks you, "Why should I let you into my heaven?" What will you say? I pray that you might come to know Jesus as your Lord and Saviour so that you may be assured of an eternity with Him.

If you are a Christian, then I would ask how are you responding to the trials and tragedies that you face in your life? Are your trials characterised by fear, anxiety, depression, complaining and anger? Or are they characterised by a deep peace and confidence in knowing that your Saviour is with you, even in the face of death?

Yes, we are human and we may give way to many mixed emotions when circumstances are painful and so very hard to bear, but do we ultimately raise our hands to give glory to God, regardless of the pain we may face? I pray that we would all ask the Lord to help us to glorify and praise Him daily, no matter the depth of tragedy we face. There is nothing that He does not see, and nothing that He does not allow us to go through without the grace by which to stand.

Abdicating Responsibility

My mother was a fairly consistent type of lady. That is to say, that if mom said, "NO", it didn't mean this time, but not next time. No meant No!

I grew up not liking the fact that I did not get away with much. In fact, I used to hate birds. My mother collected them. The reason I did not like birds was because, these "birdies" kept telling on me. At least that's what I thought. Until I discovered that birds were teachers, School Principals, Sunday School teachers, friends, peers, neighbors & sisters. I have two! So I really did not get away with much...

When I got a bit older, I remember complaining to my mom, "I wanted you to be my friend, like everyone else's moms were friends with them". I continued rambling about how everyone else got away with stuff, but no, not me!

I remember my mother saying to me, "Son, God called me to be your mom, NOT your friend"! That shut me right up! I remember thinking, there is alot of truth in that. I didn't like it at the time, but I saw the wisdom in that. But it was this next bit that has really played over and over in my mind. She said to me, "Son, the easy road is to ignore your disobedience." She then added, "The harder job is to deal with it".

Is that not the truth? As a parent myself, the easy thing to do, is to look the other way. Pretend we did not see that, or hear that, or notice that. The harder task is to put down the paper, get off the lounge, step away from the computer, push the food away, stop the conversation and take the God given privilege we have been entrusted with, to train our children in the way that they should go.

How are we doing? Are we seizing every opportunity to train our children in the Gospel, that presents itself, or are we abdicating our responsibilities?

Over the next few posts, I will share with you some of the successes and failings of the Chavez family's opportunities to train our children. This is going to be done with the intention of encouraging you. Giving you a laugh. Providing you with some ideas. But most importantly, to remind you of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is the reason we do what we do. We don't want to raise "good kids". We want to raise children who are aware of their need of a Savior.

I think we ought to be strategic and intentional about, 'parenting with an eternal perspective'...

So, we thought we would share some of our experiences with you... and yes, with our children's permission...

Leading in Sickness

Is God still good in sickness? Is God still good in poverty? Is God still good in famine & war? Is God only good when we prosper or when we are well fed? When we have the nice house, nice car, nice clothes and right friends? Is God only good when we are healthy?

This past week my wife and children have been quite sick. However in it, there has still been much praise and thanksgiving to God. I am not saying that to boast, but I am sharing that to encourage you fathers. Encourage you, that this comes when Dad leads the family in making observations about the truth of the test we have been entrusted with.

Several times through the night, our daughters are waking us up. Our sons are up and down as well. We have been getting only few hours of sleep and yet, the temptation is not to spend time reading God's Word. Why? Because we get irritated or frustrated that these kids are waking us up in the night. How are we suppose to function, we mumble to ourselves or to our spouse in anger. But is that the truth? Is God not providing us with an opportunity to depend on Him? Do we see these times as a means of grace, from God, to grow in godliness?

My heart is warmed when I descend the stairs to see my wife look up from her Bible, with a physically worn out body, but eyes that show that her soul has been filled and refueled enough to carry out the tasks of caring for the children we have been entrusted with.

Admittedly we are growing in this. This is not the way it has always been. However after experiencing God's grace, when making the choice to spend time alone with God and His Word, how can we not take time to spend with Him, in order to serve each other and our children?

Dad's lead well. Encourage, create time and space for such appointments with the Lord. Even if you don't have children, and are just newly married. Remind your wife of the opportunities to grow in godliness.

ONLY, because of the cross...