What would you say?

What would you say to 75 young men, in 45 minutes, about 'growing into fatherhood'?

I'm thinking of encouraging them that it is good for single men to aspire to marriage and fatherhood - and if they are not aspiring to this - I want to ask them, "why not"? This should grab their attention! Not so sure they would have been challenged like this, especially at this age. I think they are thinking about how to satisfy the desires of their flesh and living in the moment instead of guarding their hearts and seizing the opportunities that lie ahead to assist them in preparing themselves for a wife and children.

Oh, I can hear the arguments - shouldn't you be talking to them about college & careers and sports and setting themselves up before you begin talking to them about becoming a father?

Actually, I think this is perfect to talk to them about marriage and fatherhood, because I am trusting that this will help them focus on manning up and becoming a man who follows God instead of following their fleshly desires.

Mark Driscoll correctly, I think, asks, "Is it not right that men aspiring to be fathers should, AFTER cultivating their own souls and being lovers of God, be instructed by the older men in their church to pursue a godly woman as a wife and mother?" He then concedes that, he knows "this is totally different than a good time, girlfriend, or date: however, wise young men will pursue a woman they can both love as a wife and see as the mother of their children."

I remember, as a young man in my own pursuit of marriage, I totally thought about my potential wife as a lover, friend, wife & then mother to our children. Even at 16! When I was courageous enough to pursue Meg, I asked her many questions about her ideas of family and the way she felt about ministry and God and the church. Thankfully, her answers confirmed that she was someone I wanted to be my wife. And by God's AMAZING GRACE - this remarkable & beautiful woman - that I truly do NOT deserve said, "yes" to me!

I think it will serve these young men to add a bit of history about the decline of male leadership. According to Carolyn Gragilia, author of Domestic Tranquility, she writes that in the 1950's, men were not doing a good job of leading and loving their families, but that the wives did not have the power and authority to overthrow their husbands and rule the families as they desired. So the wives simply recruited their children as allies against their husbands. If they could undermine the father's authority and respect in the home, then the wife and children could control and manipulate and drive out the husbands and rule over the family. Amazingly, in Proverbs 19:13 we discover how we got from the 1950's to the anarchy of the 1960's - namely, foolish men married godless woman who recruited their own children to overthrow their fathers and usher in anarchy.

If you doubt this statement or question this idea - simply watch one of the countless sitcoms on T.V. where the husband is portrayed as an inconvenience, an idiot, the butt end of the joke and the wife trash-talks him in front of the kids. This humor is viewed by millions and leaves impressions on countless young ladies and young boys.

Let me ask you - how is this funny?

Yet - whose fault is it? I can't help but think that it's men's fault. Why? Because men have not manned up and loved God first.

What are your thoughts?