Holding Grudges? It Stinks!

Do you work with someone or live with someone who irritates you?

Last night Caleb and I discussed this in our time together. We talked about holding a grudge. We defined "grudge" in this way. A grudge is the inward reluctance to give or it's the unwillingness to benefit the people you resent. In other words when you are holding a grudge against someone you cut them out of your life, even when they are in the same room with you. You won't smile and only talk if absolutely required. If you are a good grudge holder, you won't even look at the other person either. This person (holding the grudge) refuses to acknowledge their presence but can be pleasant to everyone else.

Sometimes husbands hold grudges against their wives. The wife didn't do something he thought she should, or maybe she did something that she shouldn't have. It might be big or little. Another name for a grudge: the cold shoulder. He doesn't talk with her, doesn't smile at her. Oh he will still eat the food she makes, but acts as if he is alone.

Grudges require work though. Emotionally, you must keep the sour feelings. Mentally, you must remain alert not to smile or look kind. To be truthful, a day of grudge holding is physically exhausting. Sadly, with training, some are able to keep and maintain an intense grudge for years.

This is not the way God desires to benefit the world through us. He designed us to be a vessel in which His Spirit grows and bears fruit. He wants to display mercy, forgiveness and goodwill everywhere we go. You and I are like a pipe He wants to use to pour goodness into the world. The problem? We have the ability to clog the pipes.

Matthew 5:43-48 "You have heard that it is said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

The natural tendency to avoid others we don't like, is contrary to Gods desire to bless the unjust. If we want God to use us, we must let Him love the unlovely through us. This means, those who hate and mistreat us are people God wants to bless through our generous forgiving attitudes, open hearts, and bright smiles. Instead of being a clogged pipe, God wants us to be clear vessels, cheerfully blessing the evil and the good.

When we hold a grudge we think we are punishing others by withholding our wonderful self. We may think, If I don't smile at them; they'll feel the pain; that'll serve them right. But in actual fact, the opposite is true! Your the one punishing yourself because you lose the privilege of delivering God's water of life. You and I are the ones who become stagnate and stink. We are the ones emotionally drained. We miss God's joy and fellowship.

It is the nature of God to love sinners. They fight and curse against Him. In return He showers the best on them. If a man desires to live a Christian life, he must learn to cooperate with God, to be His vessel to a fallen race of people!

I had to apologize to my family last night for the poor example that I have set for them. I have been a grudge holder! It is draining and my pipes have been clogged. My wife and son were quick to forgive me and my pipe is clear. I desire to reflect the nature of God. To love sinners! To shower the best on others.

What a privilege to serve the King with an eternal perspective in mind...